A little classic New York before I head out of the city for the holiday... The following is an email a girlfriend told me about over drinks at Perilla this weekend. We all sat and listened to the described contents with our jaws on the floor, and promptly repeated it to every girl we came in contact with. There are some fantastic New York dating stories out there...well, probably everywhere, but given the volume of dating here and volume of older (than the national average) bachelors, the numbers of outrageous set ups/blind dates/first meetings, has to be significantly higher in this blessed city.
I changed the name for privacy's sake since I don't personally know either party (thanking my lucky stars I don't know the author). This email was sent after a mutual friend set a pair up on a date - they chatted for one hour over one drink...
Hey Jill.
I was looking over my schedule for the next couple of weeks/months and honestly don't see a single time that we can have a proper date. I did have fun talking to you when we did manage to get together and Nina really seems to think we'd be great for each other (I'm not disagreeing), but the way my schedule is right now I don't see how it would be fair to either of us to push towards any kind of relationship. I may be assuming too much in that this is what you were even remotely interested in, but I want to make sure you know where I'm coming from just in case.
I would still like to meet up with you when I have the time and would be open to something less than a formal relationship (i.e. hook up with each other...assuming you'd want to), but I could only do that if it's something we were completely in agreement on. Who knows what will happen when things finally calm down for me, but for now this is all i can offer. I completely understand if it's something you're not interested in and regardless I'd still like to be friendly with you. I just wanted you to know where I stand before I push forward with anything else with you (which I admit is kind of odd considering we've only been on one "date," but you deserve to know what I'm thinking).
I hope everything's been going well and have fun at the party tomorrow night. I ended up bailing on my trip this weekend, but feel kind of awkward showing up at the party considering what I just wrote and not knowing your stance. Either way, though, let's keep in touch.
I was looking over my schedule for the next couple of weeks/months and honestly don't see a single time that we can have a proper date. I did have fun talking to you when we did manage to get together and Nina really seems to think we'd be great for each other (I'm not disagreeing), but the way my schedule is right now I don't see how it would be fair to either of us to push towards any kind of relationship. I may be assuming too much in that this is what you were even remotely interested in, but I want to make sure you know where I'm coming from just in case.
I would still like to meet up with you when I have the time and would be open to something less than a formal relationship (i.e. hook up with each other...assuming you'd want to), but I could only do that if it's something we were completely in agreement on. Who knows what will happen when things finally calm down for me, but for now this is all i can offer. I completely understand if it's something you're not interested in and regardless I'd still like to be friendly with you. I just wanted you to know where I stand before I push forward with anything else with you (which I admit is kind of odd considering we've only been on one "date," but you deserve to know what I'm thinking).
I hope everything's been going well and have fun at the party tomorrow night. I ended up bailing on my trip this weekend, but feel kind of awkward showing up at the party considering what I just wrote and not knowing your stance. Either way, though, let's keep in touch.
"Jill," seeing the humorous side of this horrific email, immediately sent it to a friend in PR and said - " Not sure if you are working on any NYC dating/relationship stories, but the note below was just too good not share. This is one of many dating fiascos, but take a look below at the e-mail I received after 1 date, 1 hour, and 1 drink. Hope you find it as funny as my friends and I did and will write about this to share insight on why so many women are single in New York. Thanks so much!! "
It is wonderful to see such a light-hearted reaction in such a cynical world. Instead of being bitter or sad or thinking this absurdity a reflection of her, Jill clearly recognized that any issues here were on the side of her date's and not her own. Far too many girls fall into the trap of self doubt, but Jill took this lemon of a date and this sour situation and made some sweet lemonade for her friends, and New York women at large. Who wouldn't laugh at this? I think my favorite part is his constant attempt to remain polite throughout the email. I mean, really? Was a side of politeness necessary with this ridiculous request? I hope Jill did not reply, but either way I'm happy she laughed. A teacher in high school had a poster that said "Life is 10% what happens, and 90% how you react" and I always think about it because I don't think there are truer words.
I always loved that Sex and The City was based on stories the writers heard around New York, like a friend calling to tell a writer a doorman had just broken up with her for her boyfriend. Too bad Jill doesn't have SATC to report to, but if nothing else, she's already made a lot of girls in New York City laugh.
